Wednesday, January 12, 2005

bloggy fog

did you read my last blog entry? please tell me you did. if you didn’t, get to it. learning to surf… it relates to this entry. how so? well, my very close friend & confidant, Ingrid, is moving to a different state. she got a job offer on Friday. She must report at her new job in approximately 4 weeks. yes, it’s heartbreaking… it’s bittersweet. my roommate put it well when she said: “it’s almost as exciting as it is sad.” i know Ingrid will love her new job & new home… so i’m excited for her. but at the same time, the girl who 99.9% of the time cannot successfully get her tear ducts to create any kind of flippin’ moisture when she wants it the most, cried Friday night. the tears were flowing down my cheeks. i’m going to miss being able to hang out with Ingrid anytime i want… but i’ll look forward to visiting her in Colorado. so, the waves of change wasted no time & hit sooner than i expected… within the first week of the new year.

last night i drove home through thick fog. i mean that literally… i’ll get to the figurative & symbolic in a minute. ain’t nothing like it: driving home from a friend’s house, listening to what seems to be my own personal Switchfoot concert late at night. [side-note: i’m tired of driving home from other people’s houses… i’m ready to leave this stage of my life behind. do you know how bad it sucks to get home to your apartment and have no flippin’ place to park?? ugh! i’m too old for this…. circling around the dang complex in search of some golden space… I wish I could jump the curb & park in the dead grass.]
where was i? ah yes, my personal Switchfoot concert in the car… driving through fog.
i noticed street lights that i’ve never saw before. ever notice how light cuts sharp lines through the fog? i love that. you can see how far the beams reach in fog. so, here i am feeling unsettled & a little “foggy” in life at the moment… and i’m driving home in this massive fog noticing street lights & beams from other vehicle’s headlights… can i get symbolic on you now? in my mind, my future seems foggy with a slight chance of more drizzle on the way… but there’s these steadfast light posts… they cut through the fog and steer me clear of the ditches and the potholes. what does the light represent? well, take a wild guess. if you know me, you know that i’m a spiritual person & i like God. i like to pray, etc. so the light may represent Him, or His Word, or my fellow believers… any or all of the above. I won’t take this too far… but I just wanted to share some.
so, on the way home, i sat, stopped at a light. as the light turned green, i happened to turn my head and see one of those stupid, lovely, yellow “waves of change” signs staring back at me. and yes, i gave it a smirk as i slammed the gas pedal, gunning it through the thick fog closing in around me… lights cutting the pathway ahead.

alright, for the sake of you reading, i’ll try to have a lighter entry next time and try to keep it fun… i don’t know if it’s as therapeutic for you to read as it is for me to write. check out my “Rambler” shot below… sometimes i wish i could leave my day job in search of fun photo opps like this car. don’t tell me; keep the day job, right? :(


Stephanie said...

Keep writing what is on your heart... it's good stuff! Where is Ingrid going to work? Which city is she moving to? How exciting for her! It's always hard to move away from a good friend (or have a good friend move away) but, thankfully, we have the internet and phones to keep in touch. Plus, God always brings people into our lives at different times for different purposes... I know she played a big part in your life in the past few years... I wonder what God has planned for you now??!!?? Love ya lamb!

Summertime said...

I think that this was a good post. Maybe your best.

I know that I don't cry as much as I used to, and I carry it with me. It weighs me down. God meant for us to cry for release. I'm glad that you did so that it's not so bad later.

You're fortunate to have Light. Some people don't realize that we're all walking around in the fog down here. The Great Light of the world is wishing that more people would figure that out.