Monday, June 12, 2006

another fog blog

I was driving to work through some fog one day last week. I love driving through fog. it seems like I always have some sort of spiritual breakthrough every time I drive through it.
here’s how it went: I was driving and thinking: dang, I can’t see very far past the fog… can’t see where the road leads… I see several feet ahead… enough to feel safe going ahead… but can’t see the entire road and/or landscape. and then I started thinking… that’s how I feel about life right about now. I can only see so far… can’t see past the fog… I don’t know what’s ahead but I can see enough to feel safe moving forward. this sucks… but it’s kinda cool in a way…

moving into the unknown requires trust & faith that there’s actually something or some road in front of you to go to. as I was thinking about this… I was thinking about how I knew where it was I wanted to go(I knew the location of my destination) but could only see a little bit in front of me at the time. and then all at once it seemed that God was trying to tell me something & a light went on. I know your destination- I know the road in front of you. I know how you’ll get there. You just focus on what’s in front of you right now and I’ll lead you down the road you need to go. You know where you want to go and I know how to get you there. Trust Me.
sounds easier than it is though... it requires a daily decision to trust Him... a daily decision to believe that God knows what He's doing no matter what it feels like & He is strong enough & big enough for anything that might come my way. But like He reminds me, I just need to focus on Him- right now- and let Him take care of the future.
so there you go everybody. :)

1 comment:

stephanie said...

i'm totally with you on this. sometimes i feel upset because i don't know how everything is going to pan out. i know the direction i am going, the direction we'd like to take, but there is always that nagging from the world to be "responsible". matt and i have been going back and forth so much trying to find the balance... which is one reason we haven't shared our plans with friends. we decided on a course and really didn't feel like God was telling us not to go that way, we felt like he left the choice up to us. it would have afforded financial security, stability and knowing where our future was headed. BUT we knew deep down that it was also going to limit us in our lives. now, a week from matt's return, we've decided to step out again. we don't want to take a path that is known... there is a certain amount of excitement that we get from the unknown.

right now i feel like life needs to be taken advantage of... when i am old and grey i want to be able to look back and laugh at myself and feel good about the choices i made and the directions i took. i don't want to look back and see never having spent time with my husband, kids rarely seeing their dad, boredom and sadness.

the scripture that talks about God giving us the desires of our heart... I take that to say that God put the desires in our heart that will come to pass. he's not just fulfilling our dreams, he's giving us those dreams. i have so many dreams that have not been realized and i don't want to stop now to live a mediocre life. people will ask questions and i don't expect everyone to understand the life we've chosen but i also know that God has taken care of us this far... he's not going to stop now!